Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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