spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
