i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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