Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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