I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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