Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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