So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
vagina is talking i cant
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
