shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
