your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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