Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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