Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
