I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we're making bets on your personal life
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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