There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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