So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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