I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
