Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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