Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
