if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
