K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
