Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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