Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
