But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
