Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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