I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
