Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
