my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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