Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
