They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
