i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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