I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
