it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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