why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
