and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
