3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
