It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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