I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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