Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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