i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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