She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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