even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
