She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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