Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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