I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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