Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
