I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
