why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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