Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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