He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
