I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
