Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
