ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
