the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
