I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
