Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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