just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
