I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
