Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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