Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
