TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
