She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
