I wish they made helmets for livers.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
