You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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