Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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