Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're not piercing ourselves today.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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