I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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