i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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