Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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