Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize