Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
