I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
