i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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